Hi Alice,

I have a male friend who has often guests over to watch sports and hang out. My boyfriend and I are very close friends with him, but the thing is, his house is very dirty! He is single and lives alone, so he really has no help or knowledge of cleaning that I am aware of. There are times when I’d rather not use the restroom there because it’s so dirty. I once opened a kitchen cabinet to look for a bag, and I found a dead cockroach in plain sight! Eeek!! Our friend has mentioned painting, and he sometimes apologizes for his messes. I would love to offer him my time and elbow grease to tidy up and even paint, but my boyfriend says that it’s not polite and he may take it the wrong way. I’m not really sure what to do. I want to be a good friend, but I don’t want to overstep boundaries. Can you help me?

Sincerely,

Mad at the Mess